Payback Is
by unlikelyRLshipper
Summary: D/L. Post-Ep for 9.07, so spoilers ahead for that episode. Just my take on how Lindsay gets her revenge on the lab prankster.


**OMG, this episode was almost too much for me! I had to watch it a couple of times to even be able to follow the prank storyline because every time Lindsay popped up on the screen wearing those ridiculous sunglasses, I could not stop laughing! Seriously, the glasses are only drawing more attention to you, Lindsay! And the reveal at the end – priceless! I so hope we get more episodes like that this season – the personal storylines this year have been awesome!**

**I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who's read my last couple of stories and an especially big thank you to my reviewers - afrozenheart412, laurzz, MesserFamilyFan100, LoveShipper, and Catty - for taking the time to let me know what you thinking. I'm still getting back into the swing of things on this site, but I will be responding to your reviews, I promise! :)**

**This picks up right after the elevator doors close on our favourite couple. I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Payback Is…**

"I assume that Lucy is staying with your mother tonight?" Lindsay asked, looking up at her husband with mild annoyance. She wasn't quite ready to let him off the hook yet.

"Yes, we've got the night all to ourselves."

"So, where are you taking me for dinner?"

"It's a surprise, babe." He smiled down at her, putting a lot of charm into it, ever hopeful that he could get himself out of the doghouse and not have to spend the night on the couch.

It wasn't working.

"Really?! You think surprising me right now is a good idea?!" She started to pull away from the arm he had around her shoulders, but he tightened his grip.

"You like this place, I swear. We've been there before." He wanted so badly to finish by saying 'Just trust me,' but he was seriously worried that it would've pushed his luck way too much. Instead, he caught her eyes with his own and let his sincerity pour out of them.

She looked at him for a long moment, and then sighed and mumbled "Fine." He took that as a victory and said nothing more, letting the rest of the ride to the ground floor pass in slightly awkward silence.

Once they exited the elevator, Danny took her free hand and led her from the building, glad that she didn't pull away from him. He walked them to the subway and they caught a train different from their usual. Lindsay took one of the only free seats on their car, so Danny stood nearby and watched as their fellow passengers slowly took note of the rings around his wife's eyes. She seemed to be too busy playing with her phone to notice, so he pretended that he wasn't seeing it either and he started to think about how one innocent prank had turned so very, very wrong.

_Danny had been getting a lot of crap from Adam lately, joshing him about this, that and the other, and it had gotten to the point where he decided to exact his revenge on the lab tech. Making sure that Adam was supposed to be the one working in ballistics, he'd coated the eyepiece of the microscope with methylene blue and waited for the results._

_So, when Adam came out of ballistics looking perfectly fine and rambling about needing to get Lindsay off his back, Danny felt his stomach start to drop. He prayed that this was all about something else, but once Lindsay turned around to reveal her racoon eyes, he knew this could only end badly for him. Keeping his cool, he asked what had happened, playing the role of the concerned husband to a T and jumped at the chance to finger Adam for his own crime. After that, he was more than happy to escape her scrutiny, scared that she'd somehow read the guilt all over his face._

_Later on, as they sat together in their office calling up Dr. Emerson's patients, he had to work so hard to suppress the smirk and accompanying laughter that were just waiting to be released because she looked utterly ridiculous wearing those oversized sunglasses. Everyone already knew about what had happened to her – there were rumours already making the rounds of the lab as to who the prankster was, so what was the point of hiding her face? She was only drawing more attention to herself where she'd been trying to draw less, but he wasn't dumb enough to try and tell her that, especially not in her current state of mind._

_At home last night, Danny let his wife take the lead in explaining what had happened to their ever-inquisitive five year old. He listened to the two of them speculate about the culprit over dinner, Lucy agreeing with her mother that Adam might be guilty. Danny almost cracked when Lucy fingered him for it too, even offering to help 'tickle interrogate' her father for answers. Thankfully Lindsay declined, telling the young girl that she needed more evidence before she took a run at her suspect. There was no more talk of the prank for the night, so Danny managed to sleep fairly well, sure that Lindsay wasn't on to him…at least not yet._

_He should've known better than to ask her if she'd made any progress as they walked through the zoo, but he was too curious for his own good. When she'd demanded to see his badge, he tried not to blanch, worried that he'd left some trace of the methylene blue behind. After she handed it back to him and continued into the snow leopard enclosure, he'd quickly double-checked her findings, realizing he'd just got a lucky break and he wiped off the word 'detective' one last time for good measure._

_Once his shift was over, he'd made a quick phone call to his mother, asking if she wouldn't mind taking Lucy for the night. He briefly explained what had happened, getting a lecture from her about being a grown man who should act accordingly, and after swearing up and down that he'd do something nice and romantic to make it up to Lindsay, his mother relented. Then he went to go get Lucy from school and he decided to explain what had happened to her as well. Lucy was offended on her mother's behalf, but eventually agreed that it would've been funny if he'd gotten his intended target in the first place. After swearing once again that he'd make it up to Lindsay – 'treat her like a princess,' his daughter had put it – he helped Lucy get her things together for the short-notice sleepover._

_Thankfully his mother didn't stay too long when she came to collect Lucy because he'd gotten enough grief from both of them individually that the last thing he needed was the two of them ganging up on him. So after enduring some choice words in Italian, his full name, and a good slap up the side of his head courtesy of his mother, he was able to shoo her and Lucy from the apartment. He'd come up with a plan on the way to pick up Lucy of how to make it up to Lindsay, but as he looked at the time, he realized that he'd have to hurry if he didn't want to miss Lindsay at the lab._

_After making a quick stop at a nearby florist for a bouquet of roses – cliché, yes, but the guy didn't have any daisies and Danny didn't have the time to be picky – he rode the subway back to the lab. On the elevator ride up, he tried a million different ways in his mind to confess his guilt and ask her forgiveness, but all thought flew out of his head when the doors opened to reveal his wife. He tried to play it cool once more, but he knew he was failing just by the look on her face and when she accused him for the last time, he couldn't suppress the guilty smirk any longer._

Jostling himself from his memories, Danny realized that they were coming up to their stop.

"Linds, this is our stop."

She looked up at him and nodded, making her way to the door. Danny had to fight his way through the crowd to get off the train, and when he saw her impatiently waiting on the platform for him, he quickly took her hand and led her up to street level. They still had a couple blocks to go, but once Lindsay saw where they were, and in what direction they were going, he felt her relax at his side. She leaned up to brush her lips against the edge of his jaw before threading the fingers of their clasped hands together. He knew then that he'd chosen the right restaurant, the one where she'd stood him up for lunch around the time she'd gotten a summons to testify in the Daniel Cadence case back in Montana, but also the same restaurant where they'd gone on their first real date after the whole 'Snow Day' incident and where they'd returned many times over the years for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day, or just because. Feeling better with each step closer to their destination, Danny was certain that he was well on his way to redeeming himself with Lindsay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

Dinner, as it turned out, wasn't quite the stunning success Danny had hoped it would be. Despite the sentimental venue and top-notch food, and even his numerous complements to her, he hadn't counted on the fact that people would not stop staring at Lindsay, whispering at their own tables about what was going on with the young couple. From the couple of dirty looks some people threw his way, he guessed that they assumed he was treating his wife to a nice dinner after beating her up but he ignored them, resisting the urge to inform them that black eyes look nothing like that and offer to demonstrate on the next person to look at him with disgust. For those with half a brain, people like their waiter, they startled when they first saw the rings around her eyes but recovered quickly, not saying anything and outwardly trying to ignore the oddity but in their eyes, Danny could see them trying to figure out what had happened to Lindsay.

By the time he asked for the check, Lindsay was looking incredibly annoyed and refused to meet his eye. She left the restaurant while he was settling the bill and a part of him wondered whether she would be waiting for him outside. She was, thankfully, and holding a cab for them. Climbing in after her, they rode in silence back to their apartment, Lindsay more interested in staring out the window at the city passing by her. Outside their building, Lindsay once again abandoned him to settle the bill. By the time he made it upstairs to their home, Lindsay had already ditched her shoes, bag and coat and was emerging from the kitchen with her flowers now in a vase. Dropping his keys on the hall table and shedding his jacket and shoes, he tentatively made his way into the living room and watched as Lindsay situated the flowers on their dining table.

"I'm really sorry Lindsay. I didn't think that the people at the restaurant would keep staring at you."

"Don't forget the people on the subway too: they were gawking just as much."

Danny cringed both because he thought she hadn't noticed that and because of the embarrassed twinge in her voice. "God babe, I really didn't think this through all that much, did I? I mean, you've spent most of the last two days wearing sunglasses so you don't have to deal with the stares, and here I come along, offering to take you out to dinner where people have no idea what happened and all they do is stare."

"Yeah, not your most shining moment, Messer." He visibly winced at the name, knowing she was prone to using it when she was pissed at him. Before he could start grovelling, she spoke again. "Perhaps a quiet night at home, just the two of us, would've been a better choice, but I appreciate the effort you went to, to make this up to me. It took you long enough, but you got there in the end, just like you always do."

Though there was still some bite in her tone and she still looked annoyed, her eyes had softened. He could tell that her anger was dissipating and he needed to keep it that way.

"I know it bothered you to have all those eyes on you for most of the evening, but forget about all those people Lindsay. Honestly, I don't even notice it anymore. More importantly, though, I need you to know how genuinely sorry I am that you were the one who got pranked, and I want you to know that you're still beautiful to me Linds. I've thought that you were pretty from the day I met you and you've only gotten more beautiful since then. But at the end of the day, I care more about _you_ than I do about your looks. You could have a blue face and be bald – I wouldn't care so long as I still got to call you my wife and raise our daughter with you and spend the rest of my life with you."

By the time he'd finished his speech, Danny had closed the distance between them, now standing directly in front of her. She'd broken off eye contact midway through his speech, which worried him a bit, but he was determined to tough it out until she answered him.

"Well, you should probably know that if your hair continues to thin out like it has been the past couple of years, I may demand a divorce."

"Wh– " His utter shock cut off the rest of the word and he could only gape down at her. She finally looked at him again and though she was trying to project seriousness, the mirth in her eyes gave her away. It took only a few seconds for Lindsay to burst into laughter, doubling over and gasping for air. With her otherwise occupied, Danny ran his hand through his hair a couple of times, now feeling self-conscious.

"That shit ain't funny Linds," he growled at her.

She looked up, taking in his affronted expression, and the laughter started up all over again.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he waited for her to finish.

"You feel better now, you wiseass?" he asked eventually.

"Yup," she replied, wiping away the tears and taking a few deep breaths.

"I'm happy for you. Now, can I finish what I'd planned to do tonight to make it up to you?"

"Depends on what the rest of your plan is."

"Babe, there's a reason why I shipped Lucy off to my mom's for the night." Giving his eyebrows a suggestive wiggle, he hoped she would catch his meaning.

Lindsay, for her part, looked uninterested. "And I was planning on having the bed all to myself while you spent the night on the couch to atone for your sins."

"C'mon Linds, you really wanna waste tonight when we're guaranteed no interruptions?"

"I don't have a problem with it, no."

Danny knew for a fact that that was a lie: she'd told him more than once that she wished they could make 'Lucy-free nights' a more regular occurrence. They both loved their daughter to death and wouldn't trade her in for anything in the world, but it was nice to be Danny and Lindsay for an entire night and not Mommy and Daddy.

Danny continued to stare at his wife, fairly certain that she was just yanking his chain again. The only problem was, she didn't seem to be. He kept waiting for her face to crack and give her away, just as it had with the hair joke minutes earlier, but instead her face remained serious. "You've got to be kidding me right now."

The next thing Danny knew, Lindsay was all over him, pushing him into the dining table and forcing him to sit so she could have better access to his mouth, her hands ripping his shirt front open and spraying buttons across their apartment, her mouth devastating on his. He reacted as quickly as his confused and addled brain could process what was happening, lifting her into his arms and switching their positions. Just as he was about to push her back onto the table and take over, she ripped her mouth from his and ground out two words: "Bedroom. Now."

Tightening his grip on her, he lifted her from the table and further into his chest. He waited there for a few seconds, giving her time to wrap her legs around his waist. She did so rather quickly and just to make sure he got the message, she tore her mouth from his once more and moved her mouth to his right ear.

"Make tracks cowboy," she hissed out before biting down rather harshly on his earlobe.

He didn't need to be told twice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X

Danny woke up the next morning sore as hell and exhausted, but he really couldn't complain. Looking over at Lindsay still sleeping beside him, he couldn't help the shit-eating grin that quickly overtook his face. He'd been dreading what she would do to him as revenge for the prank, but if last night was any indication of what 'revenge' meant, he'd gladly prank her on a weekly basis – any more frequently than that and he'd be a dead man. What a way to go though.

Pushing away his thoughts for a moment, he gingerly rolled out of bed and stood up, taking stock of his body. His back was a little raw from Lindsay's fingernails raking across it several times, his left nipple still hurt from when she'd tweaked it hard enough to make him yelp, and he knew without needing to look that a bruise in the exact shape of Lindsay's teeth was starting to show on his right shoulder. He also knew that she wasn't unscathed either, sporting two matching hickies on the inside of both her thighs and bruise patterns the size of his hands on her hips from when she'd rode him for all she was worth and he had just tried to keep up.

On slightly shaky legs he made his way to the bathroom, planning to make her breakfast in bed, partly to keep atoning for the prank but mostly just because he wanted to surprise her with something nice. He didn't get very far because when he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror he stopped dead. Flipping on the light and facing the mirror properly, Danny took in the thick black rings around his eyes and the ridiculous handlebar mustache that sprouted out of the corners of his upper lip.

Following his first instinct, he hurried back to their bedroom. He was just getting ready to wake her up and ask what the hell she'd done to him when he saw the marker she must've used sitting on the edge of her nightstand. Looking in horror between it and his wife a few times, he finally managed to string together some words.

"Lindsay, wake up…NOW!"

Her eyes flew open instantly and he noticed how alert she was. Clearly, she'd been awake for some time now, waiting for him to discover what she'd done. "Is there something wrong, babe?" she asked innocently.

"Nice try. What the hell, Linds, you drew on me while I was sleeping…with a Sharpie?!"

She shrugged. "I couldn't find anything else. It'll wash off, don't worry."

"It's a permanent marker! It's not supposed to wash off!"

"Well, I guess we'll just have to get used to the new you then. You don't look too bad, you can always borrow my sunglasses if you want and I'm sure some of my concealer will take care of the mustache if you don't like it."

"Oh my God, you're insane!" he exclaimed, panic starting to set in. "This is your idea of revenge, permanently marking up my face like this?"

"C'mon Danny, it's not that different from your tattoos…"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. I need to go try and get this off my face…" As he trailed off and turned to leave, Lindsay snagged him by the wrist and held on tight, keeping him at her side. Pulling him down to sit on the edge of the bed, she wet the thumb of her free hand with her tongue and brought it to his cheek like she would Lucy, rubbing for a few seconds before pulling her hand back so he could see her now black-smudged thumb.

"It's Crayola marker, Danny, it'll come off with soap, water, and a bit of scrubbing."

"What?!"

"The Sharpie was just to screw with you, I used one of Lucy's markers to draw on your face. Did you really think I was that crazy to use a permanent marker on your face? It would fade eventually, I assume, but it probably would've lasted longer than the methylene blue. That's too cruel, even for me."

She started to laugh, but Danny was still too busy trying to comprehend what was happening. "So, you didn't use the Sharpie?"

She shook her head. "I swear to you on my life, Danny, I didn't use the Sharpie on your face."

He let that sink in for a while and then suddenly a light bulb went off in his head. "Wait a second, you planned this the whole time, from the minute you figured out it was me!" She said nothing, but the mischievous gleam in her eyes gave her away. "You played me this entire time!"

"No. The people staring and it get to me, that was real and I need to thank you for reassuring me that what other people think doesn't matter because it was bugging me." She paused for a second to make sure he understood that before continuing. "The drawing on your face and scaring you with the Sharpie – that was all planned on the subway ride to the restaurant. And last night, that was both: your words made me want you so badly, but I had already planned on taking full advantage of our night alone because I knew that the best way to be able to draw on your face would be to thoroughly exhaust you."

He gaped at her for a few moments before responding. "Please tell me that we're even now. I can't take anymore of your revenge."

"We're good. Next time though, don't pretend that it wasn't you – just tell me the truth. And please, warn me if you're gonna prank somebody again."

"There won't be a next time, trust me."

"Good. Now go get that off your face and then you can make me some breakfast."

"Bossy, bossy, geez," he said as he leaned down to kiss her before getting up and turning to the door. He got only two steps before she started to giggle. He looked over his shoulder at her, a bit worried that he'd missed something. "What now?"

"Just enjoying the view," she replied as she let her eyes rake over his ass once more.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Then don't let me stop you." He paused for a few moments and flexed, causing her to giggle again, before continuing his journey to the bathroom.

Now that she was alone, Lindsay didn't have to pretend about what she was really laughing at. She had gotten one more bit of revenge on Danny last night: before she started drawing on his face, she'd written a message across his ass.

The left cheek read: "I SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH MY WIFE"

On the right cheek she'd written: "PAYBACK'S A BITCH! LOVE LINDSAY XOXO"

She had no intentions of telling him about it now. Everyone at the lab would hear the story of his new look and his panic over the Sharpie and they'd all get a good laugh, but only she'd know the truth: drawing on his face had only been to distract him from her real revenge, to lull him into a false sense of security. If he somehow saw it, then he saw it. If not, she'll eventually show him the photographic evidence of her feat and get another good laugh out of his shock. But for now, she could just sit back and enjoy her own private joke.

And get to test the theory of whether a Sharpie really is a permanent marker or not.

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**I honestly have no idea where Lindsay's specific revenge plan came from – it just came to me as I was thinking about the episode. If you liked it, then I'm taking full credit for the idea. If not, I'm blaming the voices in my head that suggested it. Oh, and for anyone who is worried about Danny's (very fine) rear end, Sharpie does eventually come off – with the number of times I've accidentally marked my hands, I should know! :P**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you very much for reading!**


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